It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like - Back to School!
Quit smiling! I know you are excited. There is a hum in the air. A feeling of expectancy, something new, a sparkle you haven't felt in a couple of months. Yes, it is back to school time! Quit smiling. Show a little restraint. The kids will wonder what's up LOL!
Yes, I look forward to back to school time. We are still enjoying our summer, but I yearn for the routine, the steadiness, and the peace and quiet that occurs a few hours a day while the little ones are out learning new things. We make back to school time a celebration. Everyone moves onto a new grade, a new classroom, a new teacher, new friends, and new experiences. I do what I can to ensure this transition goes as smoothly as possible.
The other week, we were watching old videos of the kids when they were really small. In one of them, my husband was tucking in my oldest child, and there over his shoulder, just outside the bedroom door, I spied the ORIGINAL LIST! This list has changed and evolved over the years, but that original list created so many years ago started it all.
The List
 One of our teachers commented that she wished more children were like mine. They were always on time, never forgot their lunches or homework, were never rushed, and at the end of the day, they knew how to pull together all their books and papers, their backpacks, their coat, mitts, and toques, and head out the door without a fuss. What was my secret she asked? First, I made sure she actually talking about my kids. Then I answered her: it was because of "The List".
Every parent knows that a child faced with the prospects of bed time will do whatever is in their power to delay this as long as possible. When my kids were three, we took advantage of this desire to delay and created the list. It was a list of all the things the kids still got to do before they went to bed. Did you catch the wording? Not the things they had to do, but the things they got to do. This made the list feel like an ally, a friend, a reason to stay up a little longer.
"What's on this list," you ask? As little as possible. I built the list with the kids. The original list was 18" across and about 3 feet long. We taped it to the wall outside their bedroom door. Since they couldn't read yet, I drew pictures of what they were doing alongside the words. Don't worry if you are drawing-challenged, your children will know what that squiggle is LOL. The kids get to color it in. The three-year-old list looked like this:
- Put on pajamas
- Brush Teeth
- Read Story (this was mom and dad's job)
- Get goodnight hug and kiss
- Tuck into bed
As the kids got older, a couple extra things were added to the list:
- Pick up toys
- Dump dirty laundry into the hamper
When the kids started school, a few more things were added:
- Homework in backpack
- Permission slips and money in backpack
- Lunch made and in the fridge
- Backpack by garage door
- Shoes by garage door (I hate the morning shoe hunt!)
The neat part is that the list is no longer written on a huge piece of paper and taped to the wall beside their bedroom door. They know it by heart. They have been doing the same thing every evening for so long that it has become a habit (they don't even know they are doing "a list" LOL).
Now that it is summer, most of the list has gone by the wayside. A couple weeks before school starts up again, we will start getting them back on track again.
What time do your kids go to bed?
As parents, we faced the dilemma of what time to send the kids to bed. We settled on 8:00. It has been 8:00 since they were very little, and it is still 8:00. Quit rolling your eyes! Yes my kids are older now, but at 8:00 (or shortly after) they "start their list" and head into their rooms. They don't go to sleep right away, they finish off homework or read a book, but by 9:00 all the lights are out. And yes, we still tuck them in. You would be amazed at the wonderful conversations you can have with your child at the end of the day when the lights are dim and they are settled in to sleep. I know you are going to ask... there are NO computers or TV's in my children's bedrooms.
Why 8:00 you ask? I have a big smile on my face right now. 8:00 gives me nearly two hours of private time with my husband every day. At least a half hour of it is spent out on the front porch. Don't underestimate how powerful private time with your spouse is. I will do anything to protect this very special part of our day!
The Transition from Summer Mode to Back to School Mode
During the summer, most of the lists, rules, and bedtimes fly out the window. We are more relaxed, and the schedule is more varied. Everyone sleeps in a little longer and stays up a little longer. The porch nights often extend to midnight! I must say, I do notice how cranky the kids seem to be when too many late nights have happened in a row! About two weeks before school starts up again, I start re-establishing the use of the list and a regular bedtime. It is still too light at 8:00, so the time is 9:00. A week later, I will bump it back down to 8:30, and by the time school starts again, it will be 8:00. I make sure we have a good stock of library books in their rooms so that going to bed is something to look forward to instead of something to fight us about.
We all have our "ugly" nights where the fights and tears and the yelling takes place, but for the most part, by following the same steps every night, our kids and my husband and I have found a way to settle for the evening with the least amount of stress!
What about a list for the morning?
I tried a list for the mornings. Several times. Several lists. None of them worked. Every time I posted a list of things for the kids to do, both the kids and I ran late - and the list never got done. So I dumped the list, I dumped the age-old paradigm that they had to make their beds in the morning, I dumped the extra chores, and I concentrated on what they really had to do each morning:
- Get up, get dressed
- Wash up, look presentable
- Have breakfast
- Brush teeth
- Dress appropriately for outside weather (I am from the prairies LOL)
- Grab lunch
- Grab backpacks
- Get to school on time
That's it. Since they did the toys, the laundry, the lunch, and the backpacks the night before, their mornings go by quickly and without much fuss. They didn't need a list. They already knew what they had to do. I did add one extra "little thing - uh - chore" that I expect the kids to do before they eat breakfast... empty the clean dishwasher, then load up their dirty dishes after breakfast. I have explained that when they do this, it is like a treat for me. I can start my day that much faster without a huge mess in the kitchen to take care of.
Let no one leave the home without someone waving good-bye from the window.
Let no one arrive home without someone saying "Welcome!"
Let no one in the home go to sleep without someone saying "Good night, I love you." - Cindy
|
